Expect the Unexpected that you were Expecting...

 Much like Englebert Humperdink, England started off the evening in a relatively positive and impressive manner. The geriatric crooner had enjoyed the same kind of hype as his footballing compatriots with talks of ‘no expectations’ but more ‘pleasant surprises’ in a way to make our horizons seem less bleak.

However, we seem to have unleashed a new kind of hysteria in which we knock down all our chances and accept our shortcomings only for Clive Tyldesley to say England may surprise us in this summer’s upcoming tournament because of these low expectations. Yes, if your lowest expectation is that we may get a point against the Ukraine and maybe Sweden but we all know that that is not what Mr Tyldesley is talking about. The lowest expectation he is referring to is that we get out of the group stage, so then what is the pleasant surprise he is expecting of England when even if we do leave the group we have the prospect of Spain or maybe Italy?

Last nights tepid display against Norway did very little to restore any faith that we can at least dominate a smaller nation. Even with a weakened side that did not contain the Chelsea players that may well make up three of the back four we still had the 18million Ashley Young, 23million Jolean Lescott, and 35million Andy Carroll. Having said that I accept Hodgson’s lack of time to prepare his squad especially as most of them are recovering from injury or hangovers.

However, there were some positives. Ashley Young’s finish showed confidence and finesse that could make him a vital asset if he is to play behind the lumbering Andy Carroll who despite not having chances definitely caused problems by throwing himself about. The defense proved resilient in the end despite a Norwegian surge in the second half and Robert Green seemed like a comfortable enough backup for Joe Hart although no one attempted a slow long-range bobbling effort at him so we’ll just have to take our chances.

But could we find ourselves in a situation where England fall to the expectation that nothing is expected? Are we all just secretly thinking that England have a chance but are too scared to say it? Therefore I ask are expectations really that low for this tournament. The inclusion of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain had Tyldesley and Townsend practically drooling as they fantasized the problems he could cause our group opponents, suddenly expectation has started again. Are we all just like a child waiting for Christmas day secretly thinking that Santa will have brought us what we wanted but not daring to say it? I find it hard to believe that if England do not make it out of the group stage the papers will be saying ‘Don’t worry about it Roy we weren’t that bothered’ of course we’ll be bothered, so what are the expectations and how low do they really go?

In the end Humperdink’s efforts were just as underwhelming and you can’t help but see slight similarities between last night performances. A force during the 60s, slowly depleted, now reduced to singing for his supper and an England team who have been reduced to playing Stewart Downing. The pleasant surprise won’t be going further than the group stage it will be just getting out of the group. If I could just quote the history books ‘England don’t win International tournaments and they certainly don’t win Eurovision’.